60 Intense Days Capturing Footage for My Beautiful Son, Who is no Longer with Us
Beauty from Ashes
In dealing with loss we get tested and tried to the depths of our human existence. My world was crushed on November 22, 2017 as I held my first born son, Colten Douglas Blasingame in my arms- he had no heartbeat and wasn't breathing. Time stopped- everything seemed hazy, surely a bad dream right? After performing CPR on his little perfectly formed body- for what seemed like hours, I cried out to God begging for his life! Nothing was changing. I called our daughter in to pray and before she made it into the bathroom from the backyard the paramedics and local policemen flooded the scene. We were rushed to the hospital in two ambulances, one with Colten and myself and the other with my wife and mother-in-law. We lost Colten that day.
As a man of great faith I didn't question God, but I wept with so many emotions and still do as I write this now; however, I cry with tears of joy in the strangest form because Colten's life has truly brought our family closer together! I am awe struck how our Heavenly Father can take the most heart wrenching death experience and bring abundant life from it - truly "beauty from ashes"! I have peace in the pain knowing our son is in Glory with Christ today and that I will see him soon! Our youngest daughter had the most amazing dreams for the first few months after Colten's death. She said, "It's ok, Momma Mary is taking care of Colten in Heaven." I would say, "You saw that happening in your dreams?" With a confident and sparkling countenance she responded, "Yes!" Mary's name has not been mentioned in our house much at all. My wife and I continually shake our heads with tears of joy as glorious moments such as that spring forth. I desire to end this deep moment by sharing that we are pregnant again and that we are celebrating life with so much thankfulness. We are truly blessed and fortunate and more than ever we realize this.
I traveled the United States capturing footage for 2 full months while Colten was being woven in my wonderful wife's womb. I had never in my life been so connected to creation. I believe this was a gift given to me to connect spiritually with God in preparation to endure what was to come with Colten's death. And not only that, but He was handing me wonderful moments that would create this memorial- beyond my understanding. Although my world was absolutely rocked, as I sat with all this footage and grieved Colten's life, little by little motivation built up to this expression here. I am excited to share this with all of you out there in hopes that it encourages your gifts to shine brighter and brighter in a world so desperately in need of them and also to bring forth a bit of healing to your wounds.
I love you Colten Douglas Blasingame!
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